Saturday, March 12, 2011


This month is really weighing heavy on my heart. We are quickly approaching Ryan's 4th birthday and the 5 year anniversary of Alex's birth and death. 

I am so excited planning Ryan's party, but sad thinking of how silly Alex would be and how big he would be getting.  He would be able to play t-ball this year and he would be getting ready to start Kindergarten in the fall. 

This is such a bittersweet month for me.  The emotions and the grief start to flood my heart, and then I try to think about how lucky we are to have had Ryan.  Without the loss of Alex, there would be no Ryan.  GOD had the perfect plan.  We get to spend eternity with both of them :)

Roy and I were in Killeen the other day, and on our way home we stopped in Temple at Scott & White Hospital to visit the Healing Garden and see the brick dedicated to our sweet boy.  It was so peaceful and calming there, and so pretty.  It felt good to know that all who visit there get to see our baby's name :)

Here are just some random silly pictures I found on my phone!  Crazy boys!

Aidan and Ryan with their 3-D glasses - minus the lenses!

My handsome almost 4 year old!

And this sweet baby boy!


Katie said...

Nicole ~ I'm thinking of you. Know my heart is hurting with you and so thankful for Ryan, too. All four of your boys are so precious!

Love seeing Alex's name in the Healing Garden. I have never heard of that before. So special.

Miranda said...

I have been thinking a lot about you the past few weeks. I have Alex's b-day on the calendar on my phone. When March rolled around and all my updates were there You were on my mind!
I can not imagine how you feel. But the way you put it in your post sounds absolutely perfect! It was Gods plan for you to spend all of eternity with both boys! I think for whatever reason he chose Alex to go "home" and get things ready for the 6 of you.
I can't wait for the day you can wrap your arms around his sweet little neck and kiss all over his face again.
Let me know if you need anything. Praying for you!
Love you